Something I Haven’t Told You
All over the blog world this week I’ve been reading posts about NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) Week. Its been reminding me of my past. A past where my life centered around food and trying to be the skinniest version of me.
I’ll never forget the day I went into Borders to research complications due to an ED. I was hit in the face with the reality that I was destroying myself. I needed help.
I’m uncertain how long I technically had an eating disorder, but I know that food had been an abnormal issue in my life for as long as I can remember. There were years of restrictive eating. Years of purging. Years of turmoil.
I ran my first marathon a little over 10 years ago without training. I finished the race in 4 hours. I didn’t have to “train” because I was purging my life through running 50 miles a week. I was abusing my first love. The thing that set me free from turmoil as a tween had become the thing I abused the most.
I abused my body. I deprived it of food.
I manipulated my brain. I believed this was the life I dreamed of.
I prioritized. I made my obsessive behaviors #1.
I alienated myself.
I lost.
I got help.
I told myself the TRUTH.
I recovered.
Its weird to say this, but I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything in the world. They make me, me.
Know that if you struggle with food issues there is a light at the end of the tunnel despite how you may feel now. Your experiences, your struggles and most of all your victories will make you the best version of yourself.
Wow. That was an incredibly moving post.
I really appreciate and respect your honesty in revealing your past eating disorder. I would’ve never guessed that you did because you have such a healthy attitude and mindset now. That just goes to show how much of a *reality* recovery is, even though it might seem so difficult when you’re in the midst of an ED.
You set an amazing example for those suffering or trying to recover from an ED. Keep it up! <3
Excellent post and thanks for sharing with us!
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sure it took courage and I really admire you!
Wow girl – makes me admire you even more.
Your honesty is freeing.
Thank you for your candor.
S
What an incredible post! Thanks so much for sharing!
I love how you said you wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything… that they make you, you.
Jess…wow. I actually started crying when I read this. Thank you for your candor and honesty, for finding help for yourself, and for encouraging others. Wow. What a beautiful post, your most honest, deep, and meaningful ever, I think
Thanks so much for sharing this. I really admire your honesty.
It’s great to hear that you were able to overcome your eating disorder. You are definitely an inspiration to others.
Thank you for sharing your story. Girls need to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it begins with loving yourself and being good to your body and mind. I think you’re sending a great message.
i think it’s great that you’re sharing your story! perfect timing
. i wish you never had to feel that pain and suffering, but i agree with you and i am GLAD i went through what i did, because it really helped me grow as a person. you clearly came out stronger and more mature for it!
Great post! Takes lots of courage!
Thank God you sought help! And look at you now?! Strong, healthy, and beautiful!
Thank you for sharing! I can only imagine the courage it took to hit ‘publish’ on this one.
Thank you for sharing this and good job on your recovery. We are all glad you are better……
Have a great weekend.
xoxo
What an honest post. I have not struggled with an eating disorder, but I think that it would be very hopeful for those who are to read a post like this. It’s great to know that a full recovery is possible.
Thanks for the brave and honest post. I’m glad you treat your body as the treasure that it is now…you are a good example for us out there…keep up the good work!
Courtney
adventures in tri-ing
Thanks for the honest post! ED are such a huge problem and need to be faced head-on. Good for you for fighting and WINNING against yours!
wow, thank you for sharing, so strong of you to share this with us, truly admirable
Thank you for sharing this with us, you’re such a strong person.
Thank you for sharing this! it only makes me admire you even more!!!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this — you are brave and inspirational!
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It’s interesting what oyu say at the end, because I truly believe I agree with you. Having had an ED myself, I look back and obviously never want to go back to that place in my life again, but I really think it taught me some valuable lessons that I never would have learned otherwise. Not only that, but I can now empathize with all my clients who are having struggles with food, struggles of any kind. I wouldn’t take it back, but I’m glad I’m not there anymore…
Touching poem you’ve created. Its always refreshing to read a story about recovery.
Great post. You’ve obviously come such a long way since then and it’s great that you are still concerned, see it as such a huge issue. If we all stay aware of problems around us and are willing to help people out if we see them suffer, this world would be such a better place.
I’m proud of you and love you sister!